Editorial: THE “F” BOMB- Has It Finally Arrived?

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May 14/09

THE “F” BOMB- Has It Finally Arrived?

~by Larry Fedoruk

 It can take years to break through in popular culture. Just ask any non-Idolesque singer. Ask any musician, actor, artist etc. Getting the word out there can be a long and arduous task and raw talent or appeal is not always a deciding factor. Timing is everything we are told, being in the right place at the right time. That of course implies luck as a factor, or “getting your big break” as some put it.

 Others will say that you make your own breaks. 

 I’m sure it’s a combination of everything. Even heathens like myself like to imagine that every once in a while the “forces” align and something comes of it. Of course we heathens also like to believe that outside of science, there are no forces, and that the studies of alignment and coincidence are simply things people do to pass the time and to make themselves look much cleverer than they actually are.

 Marketers will tell you there are forces,…and methods, and formulas and ways to get the word out there. I suppose. I have heard about things like Coca-Cola and the new Big Mac Snack Wrap, so they must know something. To quote their line, “Finally! The taste of a Big Mac in a snack.” Do you understand? “Finally!” Marketers somehow tapped into a force, a need, an underlying current of desire…and gave us the solution.

Of course, marketers such as Coke and McDonald’s cheat.

 They mostly just buy media. Any idiot with money can buy media. Actually, media relies on those idiots. Also, media have their own marketers who in turn glom on to established brands like Coca-Cola and McDonald’s to use as their own media. The circle is not only vicious, it’s morally bankrupt. It’s quicksand; it’s an eddy, an abyss, a killer indeed. Few get out alive. Plus, anybody who failed the real estate exam or was drummed out of used-car sales can call themselves a marketer. I’m sure a failed used-car sales person was the one who came marketing back and told them, “From this moment forward, instead of used cars, they shall be called previously owned vehicles.”

 So what does this all have to do with the F-bomb? 

 Well, it’s been around for years and may I add, without the assistance of the aforementioned media abyss who still frowns heavily upon it. There are countless stories, legends, theories of origin from the Latin, the Greek, the Roman, the caveman and on and on. Which ever you choose to believe is of course up to you. One thing we can agree on is that it’s almost always been here. It has transcended time, space and language. It is popular, true, but never culturally accepted. It has enjoyed a massive cult following and we’ve all chuckled at the e-mail of how it functions as a noun, verb, adverb, adjective, in the middle of words etc. But it has never broken through.

 As a matter of fact, those who continually used the word are thought to be of lower intelligence, limited vocabulary, et al. I say, you find a great versatile word like that you’d be a fool not to use it, and often, but that’s just me. Many have tried to push it forward, from Lenny Bruce, to George Carlin, to Bono, with many “hip-hop” stops in between. Granted, they’ve all contributed to this recent breakthrough but still it hasn’t really been part of almost universally accepted popular culture. Until now.

 How did this happen? Let me share the following theories.

 Step 1: The transition of the term “F-word” into the more widely used “F-bomb”.

 Initially this would seem like a step backward, after all a bomb is much worse than a word. Sticks and bombs and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. But I believe it had the opposite effect. If for example in the past, in mixed company, you were relating a story of how someone in an inappropriate setting used “the F word”, (”…and then he said the F-word, right in front of the principal!”) it caused significant gasping as if you had used the word itself in your story. When instead you use the term “F-bomb” (”…and then the kid starts dropping F-bombs around Father Ian…!”) it is your implied editorial that this was a ghastly thing to do. Yes, bomb is much worse than word and by using the word ‘bomb’ I am saying this was a hideous attack. Tacit, but deadly. The suggested inference makes it much more culturally acceptable to at least talk about F-bombs.

 Step 2: The almost global acceptance of the euphemism “freakin”.

 Oh sure, generations have tried euphemisms before, from flippin’ to farkin’ to friggin’, frickin’ and frackin’ and so forth. All of these substitutes have had their moments but “freakin” (sometimes also the more correct “freaking”) has broken through. Think about it, a freakin’ moron much more conveys the meaning of the original word than a friggin’ moron, or a frickin’ moron? Granted, it’s still not the word but at least the message is clearer. Lenny “flippin” Bruce opened the door for George “freakin” Carlin. See, it just works.

 Step 3: The increased usage of the term “effing”.

 This is about as close as we can get without using the word and it’s my favorite substitute. Proof of that is that there are still places you can’t even say effing. The great Ben Folds has a song called “Effington” on a recent album where he sings about Effington being a wonderful effing place as he makes his way to Normal. (Effington, SD to Normal, IL I believe.) This term has “always been there” yet we never thought to use it until recent times. Sometimes you just gotta say “You’ve got to be effing kidding me!”

AND

 Step 4: Wtf?

 God bless the texters. (I’m a heathen, so that’s just an expression.) Not that MTV is the final arbiter of pop culture, but recently they introduced a new category for their 18th annual 2009 MTV Movie Awards, “BEST WTF MOMENT”, defined as this year’s most jaw-dropping movie moment…AND these awards will be broadcast on regular abyss, oops, I mean media. What a coup! Wtf is not just for texting, it has become verbal also as the new language invades the spoken word. lol, btw, bfn. See, we always knew that initials could work and that’s why we said F-word and F-bomb but actually grabbing an F-bomb phrase and initializing it for common use is pure genius and a great step forward.

 I know what some are saying. “This still isn’t the word itself. We still can’t say it in many situations.” You are correct. But at least we’re closer than we’ve ever been. Freakin, effing and wtf are as near as we’ve ever come and it has shown that you can’t keep a good word down. That my friend is a breakthrough. There are those of us that will keep fighting the good fight until one day there is at least a NAFTA, a North American F-This Agreement. A-bombs and H-bombs can melt my bones, but F-bombs will never hurt me. Drop one on someone soon.

 Larry Fedoruk hosts the ‘Larry Fedoruk Show’ from 3pm - 6pm on News/Talk CKTB , in my (the editor’s) opinion, the crown jewel in CKTB’s programming. If you listen, I think you’ll agree. And you can listen, via internet streaming, if you don’t live in the Toronto - Niagara - Buffalo corridor. Larry’s take on daily events leave you thinking and laughing. Larry is an author, a humourist, a poker player, a musical encyclopedia (don’t miss Name That Tune on his show!), a self described “Beatles baby”, and a father (I wonder how young his kids were when he taught them the “f bomb”?) The fact of the matter is, Larry is a true gentlemen and has likely never had to have his mouth washed out with soap.

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