Ashlee Simpson Saves America

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Feb. 2, 2009

Ashlee Simpson Saves America

~Larry Fedoruk

The thing about genius is: sometimes it arrives on your doorstep, and sometimes you have to go find genius where it lives. It was a combination of both recently when Ashlee Simpson-Wentz saved America.
  

It began innocently on a Sunday afternoon in Pembroke Pines, Fla., when older sister Jessica arrived for  Radio 99.9 KISS Country’s Chili Cook-off. This is the station whose morning team is a couple named Coffey. “Coffey In The Morning”, do you understand the endless marketing possibilities? This
is genius on your doorstep. Nevertheless, Jessica arrived for the festivities with a cheery smile and a great attitude which one would think would be a lesson for every other actor and entertainer out there in show
business. When’s the last time you saw an impish Robert DeNiro at a pie-eating contest, or a jovial Tracy Chapman in a sack race. Are these people not even interested in promoting their careers?

Jessica also arrived looking a little more Rubenesque than usual and
naturally the tabloid media jumped on this like, well, like Tony Romo used to jump on Jessica. A “noticeably fuller figure” was how some put it and it quickly became the story of the Sunday. Sadly, I would imagine many great bowls of chili that had hoped to grab headlines that day were ignored.
Recipes that had been in families for years, honed and nuanced over time so that one day they might be good enough to be considered for KISS Country’s annual chili cook-off, and perhaps (dare they dream) even win. But no, actual chili passed like gas in the wind in favor of the real story.”Jessica Simpson looked a little plumper than usual.” Fox News carried it.

And this is where Ashlee Simpson saves America. On the Tuesday following Ashlee addressed the issue on her website. The event was Sunday, the story broke Monday, and then I assume Ashlee needed a day to collect her thoughts.

“I am completely disgusted by headlines concerning my sister’s weight,” she wrote, “A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for the country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure.”
 
 
To me her words will always represent the Obama presidency. We all witnessed the historic day, the millions who gathered in Washington, D.C. and around the world. We saw their faces, laughing, crying, cheering. We heard the speech of the great orator and new president as he set America on
a path to repair and to be great again. Notice that Mr. Obama never ends his speeches with God bless America, but rather, God bless the United States of America. No more red and blue states, just united states, a United States worthy of God’s blessing. A United States that will again be loved by
world, a place not so hasty in making fun of Ashlee’s big sister. OK he didn’t say that last part, but we know that’s what he meant.

 
 
We all took something from Inauguration Day, from the speeches and songs and prayers. Ashlee Simpson took hope. Hope that her sister’s
weight, perhaps Ashlee’s own previous eating disorder would not interfere with making America great again. Barack Obama is not so much about uniting America and the world under one dream but rather about allowing the individual dream to flourish among all the others. Not just tolerance, but
respect with encouragement.
 
 
Sadly many of us let those feelings subside, but not Ashlee. Ashlee remembered the words “know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more. Thank-you for saving America Ashlee, with
your insight and heart.” The rest of us moved on to the economy, jobs, Guantanamo, Afghanistan, the ecology, et al, but not Ashlee. Thank you for citing the new presidency to remind us that in America two girls with marginal looks and questionable abilities, can rise under the guidance of a
former Baptist youth minister father, to marry rock stars and date quarterbacks, attend chili cook-offs, wallow in the excess, but still command the respect demanded by Nancy Sinatra remakes, SNL malfunctions, and appearances on reality shows. How does it feel when Ashlee Simpson-Wentz
was the one that made you look in the mirror, and not one of those funhouse mirrors like Jessica thinks she’s looking into?
 
 
The next time you get caught in some vicious pop culture circle where Ashlee Simpson reminds you of Jessica Simpson, which you confuse with the Duff sisters, which reminds you of Duff beer, which reminds you of Homer Simpson, which reminds you of Ashlee Simpson, JUST STOP, and remember the
girl who saved us all.

Her genius was trying to get your doorstep, and if it didn’t, I was just trying to help you find it where it lives.

~Larry Fedoruk

contact us at Editor@GlobalPundit.Org

Editor’s note: Larry Fedoruk is the host of The Larry Fedoruk Show, airing Mon-Fri from 3-6 PM EDT  on  610 CKTB AM, Niagara. You can listen online via www.610cktb.com . Larry’s unique perspective and incisive (yet never invective) sense of humour brings a wide range of listeners together every afternoon.

admin @ February 3, 2009